Tuesday, November 27, 2007
My Big fat Wedding - Part 1
For those who know and don't know the fact.. I am please to announce that i am married to Preethi.
A typical Hindu-Palghat Iyer wedding last around 2-3 days depending on how detailed you want to have it. I was told that in the olden days, it used to be a 4 day affair. Mine thankfully was just 2 days.
Thought i would use this as an excuse to ponder over those "gruelling-but-yet-full-of-fun" days. Would double up for the readers to get an insight into the Hindu-Palghat Iyer wedding. I've titled each ritual for a better understanding.
Yatra Dhanam
Our Marriages always take place in the bride's place of residence. In my case, I live in a city called Chennai and Preethi's hometown was Coimbatore and so there is a need for me and my family members (inclusive of Uncles,Aunts,Cousins etc) to travel to the bride's place. This being the case, a customary ritual called Vigneswara Pooja (Prayer done to Lord Ganesha) is performed and dhanam (Gift) is given to priest to ward of evils. Apart from this it is also customary to break a coconut enroute at the start of the journey at a nearby temple to ward of evil eye. Also a small pack containing some rice and dal is given to the groom to symbolise means to eat enroute the travel.
The priest arrived spot on time at 5 PM and the ritual got over by 5.30 PM. That gave us the time required to do a final check of our luggages.
The start of the journey
Off we start on the train to Coimbatore (CBE) from Chennai Central station, a party of 40 odd people. The train started on time. Being at the recieving end this time, i wasn't spared a bit and was subject to in-human verbal torture (read as pulling legs and cracking jokes on me) by the party (Varsha & Yash in particular). Since most of the compartment was filled with our people, fun and frolic were at the peak and we would have had hardly around 2-3 hrs of sleep at the maximum.
Train reached CBE in the early hours of the morning and we were received by Preethi's Uncles and off we went to the wedding hall.
Receiving of the groom's party
In the past this used to be an important custom (well it used to be receiving the groom's party at the village boundary those times..Mine was done at the entrace of the Wedding hall where we were to stay for rest of the 2 days of marraige). Preethi's parents received us with Coconuts and Nadaswaram. Arthi was taken for me and i was garlanded by Rajesh, Preethi's brother. Looked like a goat ready for sacrificial slaughter ;-). We were then lead to our respective rooms in the Mandapam.
In any palghat Iyer wedding, apart from the bride and the groom and their respective parents, the bride’s brother and bridegroom’s sister (Nathanar) play an important role as also the paternal aunts (Athai) and the maternal uncles (Maama) and their wives (Maami).
Oh i missed the object of interest (ok i am not talking about those coconut, flowers and Thamboolam)- the two conical structures called " Paruppu Thengai Kutty". These have a kind of sweet made of Paruppu(dal),Thengai(Coconut) & jaggery (u thought i would say kutty). Well, These nowadays need not be strictly made of dal.Dal nowadays can be replaced by Cashew and other similar things.
One good thing about the Paruppu Thangai Kutty is that these are offered not just once but many a times during the course of the wedding.
Similarly, the Nadaswaram (kinda wind instrument) is played throughout the wedding with short breaks. Heard somewhere that the purpose of this is to prevent ill words from being heard in the hall. Wedding hall is one place where so many people meet each other and this offers a very fertile grounds for gossips and bad mouthing ;-).One thing you observe in any south Indian wedding is the showcasing of rich brocaded silk sarees and elaborate jewelery worn by the womenfolk.The latest designs both in sarees and jewellery are on show there.
So we were finally put into our respective rooms. They would not let the groom stay alone lest better sense prevails and he decides at the last moment to run away from the life long prison he is about to enter :-).So was put up in a very big room with 3 others.
The mandapam where our wedding took place was quite a spacious and famous one in Coimbatore.
Nandhi
Was asked to quickly take a shower and come to the main hall in building (where all rituals are done).So here i was wearing the traditional Veshti (its kinda topless for starters). Well wasnt much embarassed as i have got used to this for quite sometime and moreover i am not alone on the stage (got my father for company dressed the same way)
Nandhi is a ritual performed to get the blessings of the forefathers before any important ritual like wedding.
Nandhi in Sanskrit means the beginning, so with Nandhi begins the actual rituals for the functions. Usually during the Nandhi before the marriage, priests are given rice and vegetables and dakshina. In our wedding a series of plantain leaves containing rice, thamboolam, dals, pazham etc were kept and priests were seated opposite each plantain leaf. Each priest was then offered the contents of the leaf along with dakshina.
Vritham & Kappu Kettal.
Folowing the Nandhi, the Vritham ritual was initiated. The background for this ritual is that the groom takes the permission from his Guru (his father) to end his life as a bramachari (bachelor) and take up a new life as Grahasta (married man).As per the ancient literature, a Brahmachari is supposed to life a ascetic life. The groom is made to do all the essential duties of a brahmachari (so as to give a crash course on these kind of stuff).
A similar kind of thing happens at the bride side too. But this is not as elaborate as the one done at the groom's side. At the end of this a Rakshai or Kappu in the form of a sacred string is tied in the wrist of the bride and groom after reciting Vedic manthras to protect them from all evil spirits. After trying the Kaapu, we are no allowed to move out of the wedding hall.
Paaligai
This ritual consists of sowing germinated seeds of nine kinds of pre-soaked cereals in 5 small mud pots by married women (called Sumangalis) relatives of the groom and the bride. They first sow the germinated seeds and pour milk with water over it and pray for long happy married life for the couple as well as several children to brighten their homes (now you know why India is densely populated).These pots are watered for 3 days by which it would have sprouted, which indicates good progeny for the family.These sprouts are later immersed in well.
That was the end of the ceremonies for the morning.
We had our breakfast (a pretty late one as we are not supposed to eat anything till this ritual gets over) after the Vritham and had a short break during the noon. Was busy co-ordinating the transportation for receiving other relatives and friends arriving for the occasion.
Nischayathartham
Was again hurried at around 4 PM to get ready for the Nischayathartham.Its the final sealing of MOU between both the parties that all is set for the wedding. The ritual starts with a preliminary Ganapathi Pooja followed by Preethi's parents inviting my parents and announcing the final agreement that they are willing to give their daughter in marriage to me. Me and my parents are left with the only option of accepting the proposal :-).
It is customary for the bride to receive a silk Saree from the groom's parent and to change into that saree. It is also customary for the groom's sister to gift the bride some articles for washing and make up, a saree as well as two dolls during this occasion. This called Vilaiyadal things. Similarly, the groom is gifted a suit.In this function elders from both families meet each other and bless the groom and the bride for a happy future.
Reception
With a short break. Had to again get ready for the reception for the guests in the evening . Preethi and me were on stage by 6 PM when the guests were slowly beginning to arrive. It is customary that you have a reception either in the evening prior to marriage or the evening after the marriage. Though some old timers would prefer the latter, the former arrangement is what is practiced more in the recent times to save on the time. This is more to do with the
current social trend as some of the friends and relatives may not be able to attend the muhurtham time on the day of the marriage.It gives them a chance to meet the bride and groom in leisure and handover their wedding gifts if any.The mood is a bit casual too.
Dressed to kill??
I was dressed in a western outfit in a bluish-black suit with very thin stripes on it and a cream coloured formal shirt. Preethi was dressed in Indian attire on a stylish looking red saree with some minor curls done to her hair.
First time with so much of flash lights on you fired continuously for 3-4 hrs..Standing for long hours and sticking a permanent smile on your face..God..It can make you feel very tired...
Thats exactly what happened when i crashed on the bed that night.
A typical Hindu-Palghat Iyer wedding last around 2-3 days depending on how detailed you want to have it. I was told that in the olden days, it used to be a 4 day affair. Mine thankfully was just 2 days.
Thought i would use this as an excuse to ponder over those "gruelling-but-yet-full-of-fun" days. Would double up for the readers to get an insight into the Hindu-Palghat Iyer wedding. I've titled each ritual for a better understanding.
Yatra Dhanam
Our Marriages always take place in the bride's place of residence. In my case, I live in a city called Chennai and Preethi's hometown was Coimbatore and so there is a need for me and my family members (inclusive of Uncles,Aunts,Cousins etc) to travel to the bride's place. This being the case, a customary ritual called Vigneswara Pooja (Prayer done to Lord Ganesha) is performed and dhanam (Gift) is given to priest to ward of evils. Apart from this it is also customary to break a coconut enroute at the start of the journey at a nearby temple to ward of evil eye. Also a small pack containing some rice and dal is given to the groom to symbolise means to eat enroute the travel.
The priest arrived spot on time at 5 PM and the ritual got over by 5.30 PM. That gave us the time required to do a final check of our luggages.
The start of the journey
Off we start on the train to Coimbatore (CBE) from Chennai Central station, a party of 40 odd people. The train started on time. Being at the recieving end this time, i wasn't spared a bit and was subject to in-human verbal torture (read as pulling legs and cracking jokes on me) by the party (Varsha & Yash in particular). Since most of the compartment was filled with our people, fun and frolic were at the peak and we would have had hardly around 2-3 hrs of sleep at the maximum.
Train reached CBE in the early hours of the morning and we were received by Preethi's Uncles and off we went to the wedding hall.
Receiving of the groom's party
In the past this used to be an important custom (well it used to be receiving the groom's party at the village boundary those times..Mine was done at the entrace of the Wedding hall where we were to stay for rest of the 2 days of marraige). Preethi's parents received us with Coconuts and Nadaswaram. Arthi was taken for me and i was garlanded by Rajesh, Preethi's brother. Looked like a goat ready for sacrificial slaughter ;-). We were then lead to our respective rooms in the Mandapam.
Receiving the groom..
In any palghat Iyer wedding, apart from the bride and the groom and their respective parents, the bride’s brother and bridegroom’s sister (Nathanar) play an important role as also the paternal aunts (Athai) and the maternal uncles (Maama) and their wives (Maami).
Oh i missed the object of interest (ok i am not talking about those coconut, flowers and Thamboolam)- the two conical structures called " Paruppu Thengai Kutty". These have a kind of sweet made of Paruppu(dal),Thengai(Coconut) & jaggery (u thought i would say kutty). Well, These nowadays need not be strictly made of dal.Dal nowadays can be replaced by Cashew and other similar things.
The Paruppu Thengai Kutty..
One good thing about the Paruppu Thangai Kutty is that these are offered not just once but many a times during the course of the wedding.
Similarly, the Nadaswaram (kinda wind instrument) is played throughout the wedding with short breaks. Heard somewhere that the purpose of this is to prevent ill words from being heard in the hall. Wedding hall is one place where so many people meet each other and this offers a very fertile grounds for gossips and bad mouthing ;-).One thing you observe in any south Indian wedding is the showcasing of rich brocaded silk sarees and elaborate jewelery worn by the womenfolk.The latest designs both in sarees and jewellery are on show there.
So we were finally put into our respective rooms. They would not let the groom stay alone lest better sense prevails and he decides at the last moment to run away from the life long prison he is about to enter :-).So was put up in a very big room with 3 others.
The mandapam where our wedding took place was quite a spacious and famous one in Coimbatore.
Nandhi
Was asked to quickly take a shower and come to the main hall in building (where all rituals are done).So here i was wearing the traditional Veshti (its kinda topless for starters). Well wasnt much embarassed as i have got used to this for quite sometime and moreover i am not alone on the stage (got my father for company dressed the same way)
Nandhi is a ritual performed to get the blessings of the forefathers before any important ritual like wedding.
Pleasing in progress..
Nandhi in Sanskrit means the beginning, so with Nandhi begins the actual rituals for the functions. Usually during the Nandhi before the marriage, priests are given rice and vegetables and dakshina. In our wedding a series of plantain leaves containing rice, thamboolam, dals, pazham etc were kept and priests were seated opposite each plantain leaf. Each priest was then offered the contents of the leaf along with dakshina.
Vritham & Kappu Kettal.
Folowing the Nandhi, the Vritham ritual was initiated. The background for this ritual is that the groom takes the permission from his Guru (his father) to end his life as a bramachari (bachelor) and take up a new life as Grahasta (married man).As per the ancient literature, a Brahmachari is supposed to life a ascetic life. The groom is made to do all the essential duties of a brahmachari (so as to give a crash course on these kind of stuff).
My side of the Vritham
A similar kind of thing happens at the bride side too. But this is not as elaborate as the one done at the groom's side. At the end of this a Rakshai or Kappu in the form of a sacred string is tied in the wrist of the bride and groom after reciting Vedic manthras to protect them from all evil spirits. After trying the Kaapu, we are no allowed to move out of the wedding hall.
Preethi's side of Vritham
Paaligai
This ritual consists of sowing germinated seeds of nine kinds of pre-soaked cereals in 5 small mud pots by married women (called Sumangalis) relatives of the groom and the bride. They first sow the germinated seeds and pour milk with water over it and pray for long happy married life for the couple as well as several children to brighten their homes (now you know why India is densely populated).These pots are watered for 3 days by which it would have sprouted, which indicates good progeny for the family.These sprouts are later immersed in well.
Seeding the growth of the family
That was the end of the ceremonies for the morning.
We had our breakfast (a pretty late one as we are not supposed to eat anything till this ritual gets over) after the Vritham and had a short break during the noon. Was busy co-ordinating the transportation for receiving other relatives and friends arriving for the occasion.
During the break in between
Nischayathartham
Was again hurried at around 4 PM to get ready for the Nischayathartham.Its the final sealing of MOU between both the parties that all is set for the wedding. The ritual starts with a preliminary Ganapathi Pooja followed by Preethi's parents inviting my parents and announcing the final agreement that they are willing to give their daughter in marriage to me. Me and my parents are left with the only option of accepting the proposal :-).
It is customary for the bride to receive a silk Saree from the groom's parent and to change into that saree. It is also customary for the groom's sister to gift the bride some articles for washing and make up, a saree as well as two dolls during this occasion. This called Vilaiyadal things. Similarly, the groom is gifted a suit.In this function elders from both families meet each other and bless the groom and the bride for a happy future.
MOU signed..
Reception
With a short break. Had to again get ready for the reception for the guests in the evening . Preethi and me were on stage by 6 PM when the guests were slowly beginning to arrive. It is customary that you have a reception either in the evening prior to marriage or the evening after the marriage. Though some old timers would prefer the latter, the former arrangement is what is practiced more in the recent times to save on the time. This is more to do with the
current social trend as some of the friends and relatives may not be able to attend the muhurtham time on the day of the marriage.It gives them a chance to meet the bride and groom in leisure and handover their wedding gifts if any.The mood is a bit casual too.
Dressed to kill??
Laughter before the wedding
First time with so much of flash lights on you fired continuously for 3-4 hrs..Standing for long hours and sticking a permanent smile on your face..God..It can make you feel very tired...
Thats exactly what happened when i crashed on the bed that night.
